{"id":9196,"date":"2025-07-03T11:52:54","date_gmt":"2025-07-03T11:52:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/evolvewithsuky.com\/?p=9196"},"modified":"2025-08-21T19:58:16","modified_gmt":"2025-08-21T19:58:16","slug":"how-i-learned-to-love-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/evolvewithsuky.com\/it\/how-i-learned-to-love-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"How I learned to Love myself….."},"content":{"rendered":"

Well here is a story for you! How I learned to love myself, open my Heart Chakra, release distortion, heal and then attract love.<\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was in a Buddhist Meditation Centre in Bali on a Silent Retreat in 2013. I have come to learn that whenever I am in that kind of situation, cut off from there outside world, there is nowhere to hide and my inner most deepest feelings, insecurities and problems will arise \u2013 not to hurt me but to give me the opportunity to learn, heal and grow. The Universe continually presents these opportunities and sometimes I am ready and other times I am not. And that\u2019s ok.<\/p>\n

So on this retreat high up in Bali away from the noise, we would wake up at 4am, watch the stars and the Moon disappear as the Sun rise whilst listening to our Teacher giving his discourse of the day. It was magical. Then we would have breakfast around 7am and have time until 12pm to meditate and work on ourselves until lunch. Following lunch, we would spend the rest of the day until 8pm either serving within the retreat or meditating. After our second discourse of the day, we went to bed and it all happened again in the morning. This was a 10 day retreat.<\/p>\n

The painful realisation<\/h3>\n

So on day 4, I had a horrible realisation that literally shook me to my core. I was 39 years old and I had never been loved to the standard that I had wanted. I had this huge gaping hole of wanting and needing love and no one \u2013 not my family, friends, partners or anyone else, had filled it. I felt very unloved. I questioned whether I had done something wrong. Wasn\u2019t I good enough? Had I upset Source? Why didn\u2019t anyone love me enough to fill that hole? Was I unlovable? Was I bad?<\/p>\n

The breakdown<\/h3>\n

Well that realisation brought on 12 hours of continual, uncontrollable sobbing. I felt horrible and worthless and wrong in so many ways. In my life, I had experienced a ton of abuse but not enough love. It seemed to be a huge injustice to me.<\/p>\n

Receiving Healing from The Universe<\/h3>\n

The crying started at 6am and around 6pm, a Balinese gentleman saw me, approached me and helped me. Without touching me, he instantly calmed me down because at that stage, I was hyperventilating. I had reached crisis mode. He moved his hands over me like he was pulling strings and clearing my energy field and I felt instant relief.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t speak any English but his wife who was next to us the whole time, spoke a little. I asked them what had happened and he told me I had had an emotional breakdown and I had lost control but I was ok now. He reassured me that everything was going to be ok and that he had realigned my Chakras. I was out of the danger zone \u2013 and I trusted him. I knew that he was right.<\/p>\n

Here is the photo taken of the retreat. If you can spot me, you will see the expression on my face as I quickly wiped my eyes and attempted to crack a smile for a second. But inside I was so deeply sad.<\/p>\n

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Me on that day!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The conclusion<\/h3>\n

As the day turned into evening, I had come to understand that I had closed my heart off so that I could not be hurt again. I allowed a little love in but the majority of my Heart Chakra was closed, blocked and had so many walls and shutters on it, that no one could get in even with the best will in the world.<\/p>\n

My resilience and determination<\/h3>\n

With this realisation, I vowed to fix this. I created it so I was the only person who could change it. Yes things happened to make me that way but ultimately it was my responsibility to fix it and I knew that. So with this knowledge and understanding, I continued the retreat and even had fun with some new friends.<\/p>\n

When I got back to London, I took the following steps:<\/h3>\n